a little help from my friends....

Happy New Year!

2011, where did you come from??

Time is something that will always make this mind boggle. I simply can't comprehend just how fast this year went by.

Besides being sick like a dog for the holidays, I was able to enjoy them for the most part. Going home to a wonderful house, wonderful parents and wonderful friends is simply a gift. And only to return back to Beverly to more wonderful friends....I am rather spoiled.

My roommate Sarah moved to South America this week, which means my apartment lost a great girl but(!) we gained a new roommate, Laura. Sarah will be deeply missed. She taught me so much....we became sort of like sisters. She's a great woman. Anyone who meets her is very lucky. She will be blessing bunches of people in South America. I'm very excited for her new adventure. :) And as for Laura, I am over the moon happy to have her living with us. She's awesome and I am eager to get to know her better.

So, I guess this post is dedicated to friends/family.






christmas morning with coffee and mom


brother and sister-in-love time
oh high school friends, how i love thee





back to beverly for a little gathering where apparently i told very interesting stories


headbands were worn....


a little apartment photoshoot before sarah (the one with super cute bangs) said goodbye


we enjoy laughter....

....we have fun...

twenty new songs for a new year

Thank goodness for iTunes giftcards. Sometimes I often choose to spend money on music and clothing rather than food...and other important things...but thankfully Santa heard my cry for new music. Yesterday, I tinkered with iTunes...here is a playlist of some of my favorite songs that have been on replay:

1) The Sweetest Thing by Camera Obscura
2) Possibility by Lykke Li (discovered her this past summer)
3) Sex Karma (feat. Solange Knowles) by Of Montreal (finally able to buy the new album)
4) Rainiest Day of Summer by Elizabeth & The Catapult (thanks to my hip roomies I heard about her/them)
5) We've Been Had by The Walkmen
6) Heart of Glass by Blondie (my ipod was in dire need of Blondie)
7) Alright by Supergrass (because it's just a fun song)
8) Cameras (Mike D Remix) by Matt & Kim (this remix is awesome)
9) The Loneliness and the Scream by Frightened Rabbit
10) Fall Hard by Shout Out Louds
11) She Makes Me Feel by Mansions On The Moon (lately I'm obsessed with electronic music)
12) Fresh Hex (feat. Beck) by TOBACCO (a mix of rough rock and electronic beats...perfection in my book)
13) Last Night At the Jetty by Panda Bear (this is Noah Lennox, the founder of Animal Collective so obviously all the songs are amazing)
14) Revival by Deerhunter
15) Nantes by Beirut
16) Winter by The Dodos (discovered these guys this summer and became obsessed)
17) Over the Hill by Agnes Obel
18) I Party (feat. Iz and DB Tonic) by Far East Movement FM (FUN)
19) Following the Sun by Mirah and Spectratone International
20) I'm Going Down by Vampire Weekend (any new music by them is good)

Favorite Things.

It is Christmastime. Yup, it’s here—already. I feel like this time of year always creeps up on me. The months in between August and December always seem to be a blur, as if that time never happened….as if that time is simply just a dream.

The children I nanny for always request that the radio be on in the car if we have to drive places, which I don’t always like because I’d rather talk with them but since they want to listen to Christmas music, I guess I don’t mind that much because this time of year is short-lived. One song that has been frequenting the radio waves is “Favorite Things.” The nine-year old, Hannah, asked, “What does this song have to do with Christmas?” Sadly, I didn’t have a good enough answer for her because I don’t really know myself. The song is originally from the beloved movie Sound of Music and whenever I hear it I always end up analyzing what I consider my favorite things.

This song came on a few times yesterday, as I was rushing the children here and there. This morning I awoke to a chilled room (New England has decided to freeze early) and I felt rested, peaceful and sound. This feeling normally doesn’t happen but for some reason it happened this morning. As I was bustling about in my room, tidying things, I began singing that song. As I was trying to get the song out of my head, I decided to head down stairs to the kitchen to get breakfast and to write down what I consider “favorite things.” So, here we go:

1) I have a strange obsession with packaging. Blame me for the depletion in the ozone layer, I guess because the more packaging the better. I will always buy the bag of chips that have a more appealing type of bag or I will buy makeup that will look nicer on my dresser….instead of really worrying about if it is the best kind or not. I also love to-go cups. Last year, in my apartment on campus it became known to my apartment-mates that I have an unhealthy obsession with to-go cups. I will literally spend money on cups instead of using the to-go mugs I have. I guess you could say I’m all about the aesthetics.
2) I love laughter. I love the way people have different laughs. Laughter is something that keeps me sane, keeps me relaxed, keeps me functioning. If a day goes by without laughter, then something is seriously wrong—especially considering the fact that my life is one big comedy. I’m always laughing at myself….which to some may not be good, but hey. Life is short, make the best of it and laugh your way through it.
3) I love words. I think everyone in the world knows that.
4) I love inside jokes. I find them to be fun, exciting and child-like. I enjoy having inside jokes with different friends. It means that I have varied friendships with others. Something that keeps my life moving.
5) I love God’s Word and how it always, without a doubt, surprises me. I can read the same verse a million times but each time it changes, just like me.
6) I love music and how it taps into emotions. Music is something that I cannot live without. I run to music, I drive to music, I clean to music, I (try to) cook to music, I dance to music, I cry to music…….it is a huge part of my life.
7) I love kindness from strangers.
8) I love how children don’t care that they have stains on their clothes or food on their faces….or snot hanging from their nose. They have more important things to be worried about, which I truly love.
9) I love running in the winter. I sound insane, I know but that burning in the lungs makes me feel that much more alive. I love how I can see my breath in the air and watch it rise to the sky—kind of like sending a smoke signal to God.
10) My newest favorite thing is my nephew. He was born in early November and I had the pleasure of meeting him over Thanksgiving. My, my, he is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. He is my newest obsession. I am so proud of my brother and sister-in-law and the life they are making. My nephew, Ryan, is loved more than he will ever know and he has one great life awaiting him and I feel honored that I have the privilege to watch him grow into a little man.

These are a few of my favorite things. I have a lot to be thankful for, this I know.

I aspire to some things….

jcrew matchstick dark wash jeans



american apparel thigh high socks (will wear them with ahem* longer skirts)



urban outfitters over-sized heart sweater





nine west booties




frye over-the-knee boots.



urban outfitters eternity scarf




urban outfitters earwarmer.



Here are some goals.

Some are a bit out there, but hey....

First goal: to wean myself off of the drug called FACEBOOK.

Second goal: to get my butt back into shape. I've been running but not nearly as much as I should be doing. Running is therapeutic to me. A lot of my friends think I'm crazy for saying something like that but it keeps my mind clear and my legs toned.

**I also would like to get into yoga more. My abs are currently hiding. They need to be found even in these winter months.

Third goal: to finish East of Eden. I have a habit of starting various books and never finishing them because of the busyness of life.

Fourth goal: to write more letters and get them SENT!

Fifth goal: to get the full bang look. I did get the bangs but the lady who cut them didn't do a very good job. I looked like DJ from Fullhouse. They lasted for about two seconds and then I proceeded to cut them again myself. Great idea, right?

...........no.

Sixth goal: to find a new job. I have a little more than a month to go before I'm officially done with my four credit class and by the time Christmas rolls around I need to have a NEW job. Nannying isn't going to cut it anymore!

Seventh goal: to study photography. I am going to attempt to teach myself. I have a book on photography that I got at this darling antique shop called The Stock Exchange. So, it's a little outdated. That won't stop me.

Eighth goal: to start knitting more. I find it soothing and it is a great skill to have because you can make beautiful things for the beautiful friends and family in your life! Plus, a hand-crafted present is more, what's the word? Meaningful.

Ninth goal: to attain enough money to buy everything in JCrew. Seriously, why does this store want to torture me? Above are some pictures of things that I am going to try to save up for.....a love of fashion sometimes means living off of cereal. Worth it? Sometimes.


Tenth goal: to love more.

up.

I look up to the mountains
does my help come from there?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made the heavens and the earth....
psalm 121


i believe it was when i started high school that my mother started saying, "keep looking up!"

she'd write these words down on small pieces of note paper
and place this reminder in random places...

somehow she always seemed to know when i was down.

(somehow she still knows).

lately, i've been looking straight ahead. to the left. to the right. and down. down. down.

not up.

i've been stuck for awhile in this current season of life.

the current "job" i have is getting me nowhere. i don't even know what to look for at this point.

in terms of relationships....i also feel sort of stuck. i want independence (i mean, who doesn't want that?) but i also want a feeling of belonging. hmm.

my parents. can i just say that without them i would be a lost little girl? they are my support system in more ways than i really even know. they keep telling me, "jonelle, this is just a season of life. this soon will pass. GOD has something for YOU."

i hear these words and of course become encouraged but that feeling instantly vaporizes into the air. (up in the air).

my God. my Father. can i just say that without HIM i would be a lost little girl? he is my true support system. he keeps my feet from slipping. he keeps my head from falling any lower. he takes me in his arms and says, "this is just a season."

i keep looking up because looking down only hurts my neck and hurts any chance of me seeing the bigger picture....hurts any chance of me coming into my own.

i look UP.

up. up. and away!

i find words romantic.

i find words romantic.

i do, really.

i find them untouchable. uncontainable. and often times, unspeakable, which isn't always convenient but that's where my pen and paper (and laptop) come in handy.

i am a lover of many things and one of them is the written word. i find that i can be swept up in a poem, in a phrase.....

e.e. cummings. billy collins. john steinbeck. jane austen.

(etc...)

sometimes i will notice something and my mind will describe it as if i'm writing. i can't even articulate this "experience" but my mind wanders to a place of description--

for instance: today, when i was cooling down from my run i saw an old woman leaning up against a light post on my street. she had her face pointed directly towards the sun and the sun showed every graceful line and wrinkle on her face. in that very moment, i was swept up. something so small. so insignificant, but yet....so beautiful. my mind began to wander and wrote a little something that i have since forgot, but life described by the written word is a true treasure in this lifetime.

i also find penmanship to be an intriguing thing. my grandmother once wrote out this bible verse on a piece of paper, which my mother photocopied and gave to all of us when she passed away. her handwriting is just like her. beautiful, warm and intelligent. i have it on my fridge in the apartment because the verse itself is beautiful but seeing her handwriting makes me feel as if she is still around. strange, perhaps, but it is a comfort. this is why i love getting mail. even little notes are nice. my mother would put little notes in my lunchbox and at school i would find them on top of my sandwich. something so small.

but so significant.

words. there are romantic in every way.

dr. seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

thank you, dr. seuss.

also, thank you to my dear tiny ones who matter and don't mind.

loves you.